Zumba. What is Zumba? Isn't it that dance thing that Shakira did during her Fifa soccer song in 2010? Isn't it like dancing with exercise mixed into it? I'll try it, why not. I haven't made it to the gym today yet. I hope its not too crazy. I did just eat that cheese bread for dinner. Oh well, lets go to Zumba.
Looking around I'm starting to feel a little out of place. Half the class is Hispanic and the instructor looks like a 15 year old short cheerleader wearing what a 90's kid who is trying to look cool would wear. I'm just an overly large white girl. At least I don't look as out of place as the middle aged balding man with the ponytail. Maybe this won't be so bad.
What is happening? Aren't we going to stretch or something? Aren't you supposed to stretch before you start moving like that. Oh no, now we are bouncing. Oh we are bouncing and doing fancy foot work. Oh we are bouncing and doing fancy foot work while dancing. Are we dancing? It looks like a mix between Salsa and the ChaCha....I think.
What is that you are doing with your foot? This song is really fast and you are doing double time foot work? I haven't even figured out the last move you did before this one. Wait I just got the move that you did two moves ago. Yes, I did that leg cross thing right. Didn't I? Oh, your six moves ahead now. Well never mind I'll just follow what you are doing now. Oh no, now your shaking your hips. Don't you know that I have worked years on not having my fat giggle. You may be the size of a 15 year old cheerleader, but my body doesn't move that way. At least I don't think it moves that way. I've never tried it. I've never had a reason to try it. I'll try it. Nope, my body doesn't move that way. I can sway from side to side but that whole hip action thing you are showing off right now does not compute in my brain to travel down my body so that my hips will do what you are doing.
How long have we been going? Only 15 minutes? How long is this class? An hour?! Oh boy. Bring it.
How is it that everyone in this class is following what you are doing? Were they born knowing how to do Zumba? Do people just innately move their bodies this way? Is it just me? Everyone is shaking what they got and I'm just afraid that if I shake too much the floor might crack underneath me or I'll sprain something. Can you sprain yourself trying to shimmy? All I know is I definitely don't know how to shimmy. Again, I have worked years on not shimmying or shaking all that I have.
You know that joke you just made about knowing CPR? Not so funny. Are you asking because you have had to use that skill in your class before? Does that happen a lot that people need CPR during Zumba?
Did I make it? Your slowing down the music. I can actually follow what you are doing right now. Oh, this is the warm down song. Shouldn't we have warmed up? All I know is I am now drenched in unattractive sweat and I'm pretty sure I pulled something. I don't know what, but I'm sure something in my overlarge body is pulled.
Miracle of miracles, I made it. Its over. Time to collapse in a pile of limbs that feel like they are made of jelly and never move again. Oh, you want me to come back next week? Okay. I'll be back.
LOL LOL Good on ya. keep up the shimmy!!!
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