Today my adulthood slapped me in the face. A seemingly unimportant event that I have gone through my entire life brought me to tears. Was it because it was touching? No. Was it because it suddenly became sad? No. Was it because it was painful? No. Though some peoples experience in this may differ from my own. It was for none of these reasons. For whatever cause, this event was the tiny drop in the bucket that made my emotions overflow and made my tears fall.
What pray tell would be the event....going to the dentist. Yes, going to the dentist.
This trip to the dentist was like so many others that I have had except for one major difference. This was the first time that I had gone fully as an adult under my own means. Before this point I had always been able to enjoy the dentist from the safety of the shield of my parents insurance. I knew how expensive dental work could be, but I had never had to fully face it on my own. Especially on my own with no insurance. Needless to say it was a shock to my system.
The appointment went well and as planned. My dentist and the hygienist did their part wonderfully and took care of my cleaning needs, but then came the bad news. I had 3 cavities. Cavities = lots of money. Cavities = time to give up most of your life savings to take care of a problem that if left will only become worse. Cavities = too bad sucker. I could feel the the news sink deep into the pit of my stomach as I smiled at them graciously, thanked them for their help, and tried to hold myself together to talk to the finance manager. I thought I could make it through. Oh, how wrong I was.
As the exceptionally nice financial manager told me the cost of my visit I was okay. I was okay through my first pen dying as I wrote out my check. I was okay through my second pen dying as I continued to write out my check and the financial manager started to look up the cost to take care of my cavities. I started to feel my emotions boiling up to the surface as I finished writing out my check with my third pen. The breaking point was as I was handing over the check the financial manager told me the cost it would be to take care of my cavities - $600. I fell apart. I started to sob. It wasn't just small tears, but heavy hiccup inducing crying. I was so embarrassed. I do not like to cry in front of people. Especially people who don't really know me.
Great. I'm full blown sobbing while I sit in the financial managers office and to top it all off she has no idea what to do with me. She tries to console me and ask what is wrong and if they had done anything. Of course, they hadn't. The people who work at my dentist office are the nicest people ever. Its not her fault that she has an emotional wreck of a pretend adult on her hands. All I could do was assure her that I was okay and that I had no idea why I was crying. I knew it would be expensive and I knew that as an adult these type of things hit you all the time. All that I can figure is that with all the pressures on me I finally couldn't hold it in any longer and everything overflowed until I was left sobbing in a financial managers office at my dentists.
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