If you haven't figured this out by now, I will let you in on a secret, I am the epitome of cool and collected. I never do anything that would cause me to be embarrassed or flustered. Nothing ever ruffles my feathers. I could walk through a raging storm and come out looking like a beauty queen and smelling like freshly picked roses. NOT! I have come to the conclusion that at least once a day something has to occur in which I realized how human I am and that I will never make it through a day without being knocked off the small pedestal of perfectness that I try to build for myself. Did you notice the subtle use of the word small in the last sentence?
I will let you in on a couple of the embarrassments that have happened to me lately and the fact that a lot of them (at least the ones that I will convey) have happened at my local grocery store that I frequent at least once a week in order to purchase groceries. The way things are going I really should find myself a new place to shop. They don't seem to get the best of me.
The most recent event in the field of embarrassment happened yesterday on my weekly grocery trip. I took my time roaming each isle of the store. I didn't have anywhere to go and I didn't have any time constraints so I just leisurely walked everywhere, which you would think could possibly be bad for the pocketbook as you have more chance to purchase want items, but I actually did better than normal and came in under budget. I tell you the fact that I took a long time in the store because as I was leaving after procuring my weekly rations I realized that the zipper on my pants had been at half mast all day. I had walked slowly ALL OVER the store with a zipper that was not all the way up as it should have been. How many people saw me? How many people got to snicker behind their hands because of me?
On to the next story. Lets rewind a couple of weeks. Again this takes place at my local grocery store. After finding all the items that I needed (and wanted) to buy on this particular weekly trip I proceeded to the check out stand. The sweet cashier rang up all of my items and proceeded to read off the final total of my purchases and the amount that needed to be payed. I pulled out my handy debit card (important fact because this particular store does not take credit cards), swiped it through the machine as I had done many times before, put in my pin, and received a decline notice. I had forgotten my pin. A number that I have had for years simply slipped my memory. I tried 2 more times until the system locked me out and I had to leave my groceries there at the checkout stand as I walked away with a bright red face. This wouldn't have been so bad except that it happened the next week the exact same way. Oh, the embarrassment. What was my pin number? Why did it stay in the dark recesses of my mind? Why didn't I have any cash on me both of those days so that I didn't go home empty handed? Why did I keep going back to that store after I had so thoroughly embarrassed myself? Why didn't I just go to a store that took credit cards? Instead I just spent those 2 long weeks depleting my "food storage" and thoroughly emptying the shelf at my apartment.
Good thing I finally did remember my pin and was able to once again purchase what had become luxury items like milk, eggs, fruits and vegetables. Also as you can tell from the fact that my last embarrassing story occurred only yesterday at the same grocery store that I did not take my business to another establishment even though they probably have a picture of my embarrassed face in the back room that reads. "If you serve this girl beware. She might have to leave her unpaid for groceries at your check out stand or she will walk around with a half open zipper on her pants."
See I have nothing that ever happens to me that would cause me to squirm even the slightest bit.
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